I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
