I didn't shave. On purpose
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
