does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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