piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
