Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
