My friends, they love my intelligence
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
