At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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