Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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