I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
