I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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