im drinking this country out of the recession.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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