You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
