I think I am morally bankrupt
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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