Just cropdusted the office
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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