Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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