he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
