Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of my boobs compel you
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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