SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
