Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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