We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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