grandma shit on top of the toilet
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
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I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
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he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy