Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
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rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.