my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
