JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
