just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
