My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think I just shit out all my problems.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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