Umm I'm too high to move.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
this just has baby written all over it
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
