Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
