why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
