weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He is an equal opportunity slut.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
foreskin is a definite game changer
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
