somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
