i permit you to call me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
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