"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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