you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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