you traded sex for a burrito?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
