Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
