@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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