Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
