omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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