life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
