he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
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Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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