Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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