Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
