i barfeds in our rink
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
