anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
