anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
