If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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