He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
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Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
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I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize