I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
