remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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