ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i out mim tonsoeep
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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