someone get that fucking seahorse.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
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i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
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I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.