Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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