At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
3pm strippers are depressing
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
