tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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