My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
