sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
