i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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