Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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