She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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