But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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