Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
