Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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